This is what the old “I hate this holiday” me would say about my New Year’s Eve, 2022:
1. Sigh. Once again, I have no plans for New Year’s Eve. I’m a failure for never getting invited to a party. (Victim mentality.)
2. I’m a loser for having to babysit my grandkids on New Year’s Eve. I deserve better. (Sense of entitlement.)
3. I’m going to eat my way through the night. And then I’ll go to bed feeling like crap. And then I’ll wake up feeling like crap. (Medicating my feelings with ice cream and cookies.)
4. All the guys my age date 50-year-old women. I’ll never go out on a date again. (Believing a false narrative that society tells women.)
5. If someone asks me what I am doing, I’ll lie and say “oh…. I have big party plans”. (Afraid of what others will think.)
6. My body hurts from all my arthritis. I feel old. It hurts picking the kids up. (Fear. Depression.)
That was my miserable mindset for decades. What made me change? I was sick and tired of being miserable. I decided to get mentally tough and reinvent myself. And thank God I did because my life is so delightful these days.
Today, this is what the grateful, “mentally tough” me thinks about my New Year’s Eve 2022:
1. Oh good! I am so glad I offered to babysit my grandsons, who I love more than life itself.
2. I am so lucky to have grandkids to babysit. Some women are not so lucky.
3. We have so much fun wrestling. I laugh SO hard when I am with them.
4. I am so glad that despite my arthritis, I am healthy and strong and can handle getting pummeled by my little men.
5. I love hearing Archie laugh. It is one of the best sounds ever.
6. I am so glad I am not stuck at some party I really don’t want to be at. Phew.
7. I am so, so lucky. Some people did not make it to see the end of the year.
8. Lucky me. I will get to babysit my boys a lot more in 2023.
What a difference, right? (Hmmmm…perhaps at this time of new beginnings and reflection you’ll ask yourself “which one am I”?)
Everything is attitude. If you are a Negative Nellie, you really can change your attitude, IF you want to badly enough.
Do you have a mudslide of negative thoughts going on in your head? You can get rid of them by first acknowledging them: “Oh! There is a mudslide going on in my head. I don’t want a mudslide going on in my head. I want to enjoy my evening. I want to celebrate the fact that I have a brand-new year ahead of me for which I am very grateful.”
Then go after those thoughts: “I’m deleting this bad attitude. I am leaving this toxic mindset behind, and choosing to see all that is good about tonight.”
Gratitude is one of the most transformative states of mind one can possess. It can shift your attitude from one of lack to abundance. When you focus on what is good in your life, it attracts more goodness. So get some “grats” going. Also get moving. “Move a muscle. Change a thought” as they say in the 12 Step Program will help clean up your mudslide.
It’s OK to not love this holiday but I encourage you to take a moment to acknowledge your life and the new year coming your way. If you had a terrible year it’s your chance to say “good riddance to 2022. I expect good things to happen in 2023”. Or it might be the exact opposite; an opportunity for you to say “WOW! 2022 was such a great year. I’m grateful for that and I want 2023 to be just as good, if not better!”
I wish you a wonderful 2023.